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What is it about night in the city
That seems so transforming
The lights
The bustle
Will its lure transplant your meager dreams
So much empty importance conveyed by LCD screens
Concrete constructs with their paint pealing
Starbright signs casting their master’s message
Automobiles as automatic as their aviators
Sickly sweet swirls of newness and decay
But yet it still makes you feel
As if it could make things more real
Like the last realization as the old falls to the new
Remade like a movie you could be too

Goodbye romantic love
You’ve caused me nothing but pain
Brief delusions of happiness
Then returned yet again
To this sad and tired refrain
If you believe in a deity
Can you ask them for me
What did we do
To deserve this torture and misery

Ella Fitzgerald, save me
Your voice is like being wrapped in a sea of tranquility
With notes ringing out so clear
All the problems disappear
The nuance, the passion, the gentle vibrato
With a range that never leaves that pleasing alto
Your notes resonate in my soul
And my constraint on calm loses control

Recently, I had the unique experience of watching a dream die. This isn’t to say it was a positive or negative experience, but just a realization of the moment. This poem is about the dream that died and that moment.

I watched a dream die today
Though its been a while since it had any hope anyway
Still it brought back all those memories
Of dark times when you were the only light for me
Reminding me of life beyond cynicism, pain and doubt
Your beauty shines inside and out
But the demons in me kept me from telling you
Of how I felt about you

Sometimes, people just don’t take a hint. What’s worse is when those are people you once cared about. This is what the following poem is all about.

Why don’t you leave me alone
I can’t go on like this anymore
You are always depressed
I always cared more than I should
I wanted to do anything I could to make you happy
You always shut me down
You always shut me out

Anytime you needed me
I dropped everything and was there
You confided everything in me
But the one time I asked you to be there for me
You were nowhere to be found
Then I realized how one sided our relationship really was
And how I was keeping it alive by a misguided dream
So I shut you down
So I shut you out

Now you send me letters
Saying things you know you shouldn’t say
Saying things that once would hold sway
Don’t think it’s easy for me to have shut you out
It tears me apart, but I cannot continue like this
Those feelings just didn’t go away
I locked them up since they could never be used
But those feelings you continue to abuse

Leave me alone
My heart’s an open wound
Yesterday has passed and you can’t bring it back for tomorrow
When the truth came out, it hurt too much
I can’t forget that
I can’t let it go
So I have to let you go

A nice little ditty dealing with the realization that the environment I grew up in was not a representation of the real world.

Can you forgive me
It’s all I’ve ever know
Can you forgive me
It’s all I was ever shown
Can you forgive me
It’s all I’ve ever felt
Can you forgive me
It’s the hand I was dealt

These are the questions I now ask myself

This poem was inspired by the Bad Religion song Billy. It’s an attempt to convey how a song itself can be an experience independent of it’s lyrics.

the near tangability
of the aural expression
like a warm blanket
on a cold night demands
that you embrace it

wrapped within its folds
wishing it would last forever
like the doorway to
another level of existance
the precipice of epiphany

the message convied
by the plastic platform
the patterns of
consonant and vowel
fade away into the
overall experience
of sonic signifigance

Another entry from the Purple Notebook, featuring everyone’s favorite theme, introspection!

Can I let it go
It’s shaped be for so long
If It continues to go on
It’ll take me like those before
I’m starting to feel how it is to break free
But I fall back to it so easily
And the funny part is it doesn’t feel like misery